Thanks to some great friends and another golf tournament "opportunity", Chris and I were able to spend a long weekend in the mountains together. Great food, shopping. golf, time with friends, napping...it was wonderful! The time away for us as a couple was so needed. I feel like we are constantly busy with "everyday life" that we don't make/take the time to "breathe."
Before leaving town, I dropped LG off at school Thursday morning. I pulled up where there are older elemenatry students that help with the carpool line, opening doors, etc. I looked back at LG (as I always do) and said, "hug and kiss. I won't see you until Sunday!" For the first time, I saw her hesitate and look out the car window to see if anyone was looking & then look back at me slightly conflicted as she quickly gave me a half hug. I smiled as though nothing had "changed", told her I loved her & to have a great day - inside...I...was...crushed.
An hour later when I dropped MJ off at school, I explained to her that I wouldn't see her for a few days and asked for a hug and kiss. Her answer, "mhmmm, mhmmm." So when the teacher opened the door to get her out, she happily hopped out and gave me n.o.t.h.i.n.g. Again, (yes, MJ's 2, almost 3, so this behavior is expected, ha!, but) I...was...crushed.
From that moment on, all I can think about is how Christ must feel when I don't choose to spend time with Him, or when I'm "embarrased" of Him or don't stand up for Him. My thought as a mom went a little like this... "ALL I DO is take care of these precious girls, and they're embarrassed and/or don't want to hug/kiss me, now?" And THEN the thought came to me that from Our Heavenly Father's perspective, ALL He did was send His Only Son to DIE on the cross for US (take care of us) so that anyone who believes in, repents, and accepts Christ as their Savior will spend eternity with Him. Well, that thought is still putting me in my place and reminding me what life is all about, and it's not ME!
I love you, LG & MJ and I'm so thankful that the Lord uses you to teach me. I know there will be many more "crushing" times as you both continue to mature and become more and more independent (I just need to remind myself that this is normal! And, yes, I will be sure and get my hugs and kisses BEFORE we leave the house!). My prayer for you both is that you will always be Dependent on Him.
